DIY Funerals.

A truly unique way to farewell your loved one.

DIY Funerals give you choice …

You have lots of options

and

there are very few rules.

There are a number of options for urns and coffins.

Firstly there is the materials that urns or coffins can be made from, e.g.: wood, woollen, flax, cardboard, metal and ceramic.

In addition to the material chosen you can make your own urn or coffin. There are New Zealand business that will supply you with either the ready made option or make to your specifications. OR, you can buy a “make it yourself” option. OR, there are workshop groups making coffins for themselves or others.

Then depending on your choice of material you will be able to personalise the exterior to reflect the personality of the deceased.

Location, location, location!

A funeral, like other ceremonies or celebrations, can occur almost anywhere.

Possible options include …

Your home or that of the deceased is a place to start.
The local hall
Park or Esplanade or public river area, e.g. Horse shoe bend.
Community venue because of the deceased’s interest[s]. E.g. Scout hall.
Business location e.g. On the farm
Venue based on a hobby, e.g.: the boat club, golf club, bowling club, racing track, hunting / fishing venue.

NB: If you chose a public venue for a funeral you may need to get permission from the council. Also, you can’t prevent the public from watching.

Celebrating life - the ceremony

Funerals are important. They are part of our grief journey. How you chose to celebrate the love and grief you are experiencing is very important. It’s important to know that you can organise a funeral anyway you feel is appropriate. With as few or many people as you feel appropriate.

Anyone can officiate a funeral but that person will ideally be outside the immediate bereaved group. However you choose to organise the funeral, have a plan [simple or otherwise] of what will happen when, and by whom.

DIY funerals give you a lot of freedom to create a funeral that truly represents the deceased.

A successful funeral is a mixture of what is included and how it is delivered [or included].

[1] Examples of what can be included: Music, singing, dancing, drama, readings, poetry, blessings, prayer, stories, eulogies, tributes, photos, memory tables, memory books, photo tributes [scrolling], and honouree things e.g. Guard of honour, salute, specific prayers, or / and songs.

[2] How the list above can be delivered. This should reflect both the deceased and you, his family and friends. Use the language that is appropriate to the person. Use the talents of friends, families or ring-in’s, to enhance the “how”.

consider ….

Some, a few or everyone telling the collective story of the deceased. This could be spoken, sung, with the use of specific songs, a combination, or …..
Seating - How with the seating be arranged? [see below]
Use of enactments - these can be used for healing, for symbolism, atmosphere, or for spiritual reasons.
Children speaking, reading a poem, dancing or singing
Specific people speaking, playing, singing, or …..
Anyone who is going to speak needs to know in advance. It is always better for people to have time to think about what they would like to say and how best to express their thoughts.
- Encourage speakers to write their thoughts down as this will enhance their deliver. Emotions can make it difficult at the time. Also, people will enjoy what they have to say more.

Not everyone will want to speak at a funeral, no matter what the format. Always allow people to decline. The quality of a speech, reading, thought, etc., is in the delivery as much as it is in what is said.

NB: the size of the funeral, the location, and the seating can impact on the “How”.

SEATING

There are two types of seating.

[1] Formal. Where the furniture is lined in rows with everyone facing forward.

[2] Informal. E.g.: half circle, full circle, U shaped, rows at 45 degree angle

Seating can also take a range of options, eg.,

Wooden chairs or wooden benches, hay bales, trestle bench seating, a mixture of chair types, camp chairs, beach chairs, cushions, wicker chairs, etc..

The benefit of informal seating is people feel more included and relaxed.

The reception or wake.

It can be very comforting to have people around you after the funeral. It’s also a fabulous opportunity have time together in what every way is appropriate for you, your friends and family.

What could that look like …